NEWSFLASH... NEWSFLASH...

Just so you know, I've not failed in my attempts to get fit - I'm pregnant!

So, all efforts are on hold, at least for the next 9 months!

So long x

Gym week 1

So, it's the end of my first week of exercise in a bloody long time. I'm actually really proud that I've not faltered in body or mind at all and have worked out really hard on my three scheduled days without even beginning to make up excuses in my head about why I can't go.

And this is after paying out an extortionate amount of money for membership for a whole year and actually going three times, which I'm not so proud about.

I have a slight problem though. I have this nerve and/or bone in my lower back that normally pinches and pops and makes me yelp when my hips or spine are at a certain angle. It isn't doing that when I'm exercising but is quite sore. I'm not sure if it's something that will right itself once my muscles are toned up and supporting my spine properly, or if I should shell out and see someone about it.

I'm upping my workout next week so, if it gets worse, I'll have to forget the new outfit and reward my weight loss with a trip to the osteopath.

After seeing how much I've improved over this first week, I'm starting to think about setting some fitness goals - maybe even working towards a 5k. It's early days, but I want to make sure I'm always challenged and not slipping into an ineffective routine.

Off to Google youchy spines...

An unexpected visitor

Can't believe I missed my measure up day!

In my defence, this was mainly due to being slightly distracted by an unexpected visitor. Well, she wasn't really that unexpected, rather the whole event was blotted from my consciousness, as happens every month when I try to psychically extract myself from the monthly suffering by pretending really hard that I'm a man.

Yes, Auntie Flo is here to stay. Damn her. Damn croissants, and damn being female altogether really.

Despite being actually quite bloated, I'd be really naughty if I didn't officially check in so, without further ado, here are today's stats.

Weight: 152lbs (go figure) - 3lbs

Chest: 36" - 2"

Waist: 30" -1"

Belly: 34.5" -4.5"

Muffin top: 40" -1"

Hips: 40 3/4" -1"

After 4 weeks of eating healthily and absolutely no exercise, bar shopping,

I've lost a total of 3lbs and 10". 10"?!

I'm pretty happy with the results and hope that the inch loss being higher than the weight loss (despite my period) means that I am actually losing fat and not just fake weight.

I've begun exercising this week and am a happy gym bunny. My only problem is that, after breaking an elbow 3 years ago, I can't do any resistance training.

My solution - focussing on learning to run at the gym and build up my joint and tendon strength with a squeezy ball and simple exercises.

Peace out (and all that).

Oh, the shame!

I ran out of rice milk this morning and had to get myself ready and down to the shop without my normal breakfast. I don't do mornings without breakfast very well; I'm a grumpy little monkey.

When I stopped at the shop I was cruelly seduced by a tasty looking croissant that was eyeing me up like a cheap hooker. I knew she wanted it bad, so paid my dues and devoured her in a hasty, fervent passion. And then I sat there, surrounded by crumbs and in a haze of almost Catholic guilt.

I am ashamed. My soul may be forever marked by the denouement of my beastly urges. Will forgiveness ever find me?

Anyway, she was a tasty little minx but the moral of the story is - NEVER EVER SKIP BREAKFAST!

Jus' keepin' on...

Everything's going well and I'm working up to finding out how my 4 weeks have gone on my official "measure up day" on the 9th.

Can't wait!

Charlotte Church body transformation

The transformation that Charlotte Church recently showed us is pretty inspiring. Although she's definitely wearing a corset in the second picture, she's undeniably lost a significant amount of weight (28lbs, she says), toned up fabulously, and seemingly acquired a tad more class.

I know she's had two children and has just been enjoying her millions for a while, so not needed to scrub up for anyone, but how different and sooo much better does she look?!

I'm particularly inspired by the loss of her boobage. As I currently resemble the vision on the left, I'm glad there's hope of being able to shrink those puppies to a more manageable size. Fashion just doesn't tailor around those things.

So she's lost 28lbs in around 8 months, I believe (judging from the paps). Starting with a rigorous exercise regime drawn up by her ever so aloof, rugby-playing boyfriend (gag), she made a kickstart to her weight loss and followed a healthy eating plan. After a while, she stopped the exercise (for a bit longer than just for a fag) and decided to continue eating less and eating properly. And she continued to lose the pounds.

One diet coach commented that simply eating less wasn't enough for most people to lose weight, but surely if you're eating 3,500 calories and 150g of fat a day, eating less and eating healthily is actually going to make a significant difference over time?

Of course exercise is good for you, and exercise does boost even more weight loss, but I'll start going to the gym next week, ok? Jeez.

*milks every last drop from "one step at a time"*

Naughty weekend. Naughty.

Right, I've got a little catching up to do now because I've been a little naughty this weekend. Not out of control naughty, I've just made some less than healthy ways to spend my calories i.e. a few chips and a couple of slices of Rankin's delicious cinnamon and raison bread. Damn you, Mr Rankin.

Anyway, I'm not getting hung up about it, just making sure I keep hydrated and only have salad leaves for dinner.

Oh yeah, and I've lost 2" from my gut. Yay!

Mid-day update

I ate bread today.

2 small slices of soya and linseed bread smeared with Vegemite.

I thought I probably needed some soya, linseed and B12, but I regretted it immediately afterwards. I felt bloated, like I'd just put on the whole 2lbs I've lost, and just plain wrong.

Next time I shall only have 1 slice, and make a meal of it with other stuffs.

Humph.

I gave in

Ok, so I couldn't resist it and weighed myself before dinner last night. I've lost 2lb.

Now that doesn't seem a lot to me, considering the radical change in what I've been consuming, but if 1lb of fat equates to 3,000 calories, I guess having burned an extra 6,000 calories is actually quite fantastic. I'm just an impatient little sod.

I think the most noticeable change so far, besides a less bloated belly, is the increase in my bodily awareness. When you're stuffed with bread and running on artificial highs, all your senses are fuzzy. I've realised that before eating clean, my posture was awful; I couldn't tell when I was becoming full, and discern what and when I needed to eat. Now I know I need a bit of protein/fruit/a glass of water or some roughage. It all seems so simple!

Anyway, I'm going to chill about the small figure and remember that 3 weeks like this equals 6lbs and that's past my first goal weight. After all, Rome wasn't built in a day.

Day... whatever!

Oh jeez, what happened?!

Don't worry, I haven't made the classic diet fail, I care for my Grandad and he was taken into hospital very sick. They even called me in to say goodbye, he was that bad. It was a very tough week and I couldn't really concentrate on anything else. Anyway, he's practically fully recovered now and back home. Phew!

So, I've been eating healthily for over 7 days now and feel excellent. The food has been something like...

Breakfast: 2 Weetabix and rice milk, glass of oj

Snack: apple

Lunch: hummus, beetroot, celery & thin cheese on pumpkin seed oatcakes x 5 with an extra helping of celery and a slice of carrot and raisen bread.

Snack: banana

Dinner: at least 2 veggies, 1 carb and 1 protein or near as dammit.

At a guess, that's probably not more than 6-700 in the daytime, and my evening meals certainly haven't been over 800, so I know I've been staying under 1600.

In comparison to my 'old self', I've also been drinking buckets - about 4 (uk) pints of water or watered-down cranberry juice and about 2 pints of green tea minimum. That's about 3.5 litres a day, which is not bad for this dried up old hag who, seriously, only used to drink about a pint or two. And I have crystal clear wee!

I haven't weighed myself yet since starting afresh, and admit that I'm a little afraid to. I don't want to be put off at a minimal loss, or worse, to find I've gained loads of water weight. But I have noticed a little change in the areas of my body I usually see weight loss first. This is unfortunately in places like my décolletage, and not anywhere that it's desperately needed, like mah butt.

Nevertheless, I'm happy with how it's going and feel I have tonnes of energy. I haven't even really treated myself to a biscuit or anything small yet, because I just don't feel the need for sugar. It's obvious now that I was so terribly addicted to sugar. In a nutshell, I was a filthy junkie.

I plan to add exercise in in a week or two and will make sure I adjust my food intake to support my activity.

What I'm worried about now is reaching a plateau. I really love the food I'm having, but it is the same thing everyday, and I know that's not a great thing to do.

Ack, I'm sure I'll be fine for at least another week. And then I might add in a salad day and/or a fast day, and a higher calorie day every now and then to kickstart things.

Day 2

Calories: 1658 Fat: 61.2g Exercise: none

I'm unlikely to be able to log the calories and fat I'm having every day, and I really don't want to get too het up about counting every single thing I eat, because I become obsessive about it.

For now, all I'm aiming for is to become more aware of how much I'm eating, and to have the presence of mind to make healthy choices and not be driven by addiction or compulsion.

Another good day. Nuff said.

Day 1

Calories: 1600 Fat: 55g Exercise: Housework

I was actually surprised at how easy it was to have a low calorie day. Actually, this is probably more like a normal calorie day for a 'normal' person. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I think I've probably been consuming in the region of 2800-3000 calories a day; not because I overeat, I'm just really addicted to high calorie junk at the moment.

My first aim now is to get used to eating healthy foods. I'll add in going to the gym in a week's time. I know that's going to hurt bad because as well as being super unfit, I also broke my elbow in two places 3 years ago, and it hasn't been the same since. I have been able to go to the gym and lift light weights, but the next day my elbow is swollen and sore as hell - so much so that I couldn't drive as I couldn't use the gear shift.

Anyway, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I'm happy I've got through the day without giving in to temptation!

The plan

Height: 5ft 6"

weight: 155lbs

arm: 11.5

chest: 38.5

real waist: 31

belly: 39

muffin top!: 41

hips: 41.5

thigh: 23

Dress: 14-16 (UK)

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Breakfast: 2 weetabix, rice milk, orange juice

Snack: apple, yoghurt, 1 pint water

Lunch: crackerbread, hummus, celery, beetroot, grapes,

Snack: banana, 1 pint water

Dinner: healthy & balanced

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- Gym 3 x week

Gradual increase in workout until fit enough and elbow strong enough to use machines.

PT session on week 4 and 10 to monitor.

- Weekend walks

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Goal 1: 150 lbs (5 lb loss)

Goal 2: 145 lbs (10 lb loss)

Goal 3: 140 lbs (15 lb loss)

Goal 4: 135 lbs (20 lb loss)

Goal 5: 130 lbs (25 lb loss)

Ultimate:125 lbs (30 lb loss)

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Fingers crossed.